Rant

Ok, I gotta get my thoughts out on here or I'm going to burst a fricken gasket and I don't care if other people read it because this is my blog and my journal in a sense.  So I've only gone on official dates with 3 different girls that I can think of since coming to Salem and of those three 2 of them have blatantly been fondling, wrestling, flirting up a storm, or something to that regard THE night before I have taken them out on a date WHILE I'm there.

I'm saying this because that is just what happened tonight and I'm going to be taking this girl out the next day for dinner and a movie that you can do at this place called Northern Lights.

Now I'm not asking for them to stop dating other people, nope, not at all.  I don't even mind if they want to keep their options open because that totally makes sense.  BUT could you have the decency to fricken play around with another guy AT LEAST when I'm not around or the night before a date.  It's a small request.  What bothers me just as much is that this girl has said on several occasions that she dislikes this guy for who knows how many reasons but yet her actions speak butt loads more than her words it seems.

I feel like the guy who has a sign over his head that says "use me" cause that's what it feels like.  What's sad is I will still take this girl out tomorrow and have to do what I did the last time and act like nothing even happened because I don't want to be the jerk that makes the night suck incredibly bad (even though it basically will since it's hard to enjoy the evening with the knowledge you have).

This girl has been incredibly open with me from the start so it sucks even more when I was pressured to tell her what was bothering me when this wasn't the first time she has done this but with some other guy each time at an activity while I"m there making me wonder if I should even be there.  She tells me that it's her insecure side coming out and she just likes to flirt.  Ok...but with the guy you incredibly dislike as well who you said you will only joke with now that you know what kind of guy he is...ok you're losing me now, I'm confused.

So me being the trusting guy cause that is what you are supposed to do to even get anywhere in life I say "ok" I'll just assume it really is your insecure side coming out, fine.  But there is a pretty obvious line between flirting and hanging all over a guy to the point that the guy is almost forced to push you away (the guy is one of my very good friends and yes he is a ladies man but he is trying for someone else and has said so).

Ok, the anger has subsided now and I think I can go to bed knowing that I won't do anything stupid.  Just a little frustrated by the turn of events.  I could go on much more involving txts and conversations I've had but it won't help anybody at this point and my mood is slowly going back to chill and I want to keep it that way.

We watched the movie Red tonight and it was fairly good.  Lots of big name actors and the storyline was not bad.  John Malcovich is really hilarious despite his creepy vibe that he always sends off but it worked incredibly well in this movie.  We also played 2 volleyball games for our city league team and we wrecked both teams we played.  I don't know what was the problem with one team but I was serving for honestly 10 straight points before they managed to have a decent return and finally win a point.  I started reading the second book in the series of "Gregor the Overlander, The prophecy of Bane."  Yes it sounds like a book for a teenager but that is what Kari has available and I burn through books with the amount of off time I have with this Masters program.

I think I'm done now. Night.