My next plan of attack will probably encompass going to the gym for some leg press and maybe squats but I'm a little hesitant about squats. Usually it requires two people and can be bad for your back if done incorrectly and that just doesn't sound to great to me. I figure if I do a lot of heavy leg workouts that include hamstring and quad muscle workouts, I may just see some noticeable differences but I won't be able to start any of that until this upcoming term starts so that I can go to Dixon.
Right now I feel like a lazy bum just playing games to finish out this summer since old man softball is coming to a close this friday and volleyball in Salem is only on Thursdays (and it requires gas money). I don't know what it is but of all the things I would love to be doing it is to be a part of a team. When you are on a team you have expectations, goals, and things going on to keep you busy and give you a sense of direction. All I have at the moment is online gaming with a team which is shoddy and not exactly conducive to social interaction outside of the gaming realm. Some might think this is odd or asking too much to be a part of some team since most of the teams that exist after high school are collegiate or professional. Club teams are even an option but it is always nice to have someone you know that you can go with so that you aren't the lone guy who no one has ever seen before but is actually pretty good and everyone is afraid to get to know (it is that comfort and security bubble that keeps them from reaching out). The other problem with doing these types of these is that much is required and that also means change. If you don't know what you are getting into before you get started, you may get involved with something that you asks for too much or is just not as enjoyable as you had first imagined.
Maybe just feeling limited to outside interaction with people who can't really take you anywhere is what bothers me and makes me want something more. Old man softball is great but I'm not going to start up long lasting friendships with people who are 20-30 years older than me. The salemites are fun for those brief periods of time during volleyball but distance creates a huge barrier as well as familiarity with friends and families that I don't have any association with. It is funny but I don't think I have ever really branched out to people who I didn't grow up with since I just can't find enough things in common whether it be people, interests, places, or personality. The other problem that holds me back is willing to put yourself on the line and let people know who you are since too many times I get the immediate feeling of judgment or comprehension of position (them feeling superior in comparison to me) from those who I give the opportunity to get to know me. That feeling can really put you off and frustrate you to no end.
Teams just don't ever put me in that position since you have to mesh and create bonds with people who you play with. If you don't, you won't ever truly reach your potential. Another reason is that often I have qualities or abilities (not trying to brag) that are usually an asset to the teams I play on making my presence there wanted or needed. That is also something that really keeps people coming back and feeling a place of worth.
That is about all I want to talk about for today and I feel like I'm going into a complaining/whining session which is the last thing I want to do right now.
I wish I had some worthwhile pictures to upload...so here's the next best thing, Dad's Office!
